Extracted from Mister-I-Mare's Blog on 29 June 2005
This is to my good friend Ivan, who passed away this morning:
If you can read this, this goes to you. I adore you as a friend, in fact i'm so fortunate to have you have a friend, I'll do anything not to let you go. But nothing is predictable, life is so fragile, I should feel happy for you, cos you are serving God now. But i just can't help myself... Here i am trying to calm my female friends down, but deep down inside i feel very troubled. This happened too soon, without warning. And i know I'll tear when i attend the service, I cannot hold back, so please do not blame me.
:(
I had a great shock 20 mins ago when the name IVAN GESS appeared on my phone, In fact i was happy cos i thought he called me to say hi. "hi is this zixuan?" This don't sound like ivan... "I'm ivan's brother" He spoke softly... "Yes?" I replied. "Ivan passed away this morning..." I just got so shocked, that i gave a loud "Huh? What!!!" in the office. I just cannot believe it! My good friend, my schoolmate! I used to disturb him and he used to tease me. He is part of my secondary school life and now he's not here anymore. How can that be happening. I knew he wasn't joking but i just dont have the courage to ask what happened. "Oh... okay" My mind was in a total vortex... in twilight zone perhaps. "the service is at Boo..." "hold on i get paper and pen" "Okay where is it again?" My mouth reacted calmly but my hands were trembling. "Boon Keng Road, block 5" "Ok thanks" "its the day after" day after? Day after is my NDP rehearsal, its near impossible to visit him on that day... After that i called everyone from GESS on my phone list... I managed to contact a few... Oh no... Angela is crying her hearts out, I'm not sure what to say to her too... Words just blurted out of no where, not sure whether it'll work... The more i try to calm her down, the more troubled i became.
:(
I called my OC immediately to apply for a last minute leave tomorrow and friday... but he only allowed friday cos there's training tomorrow. Then i called my mom to help me prepare a bouquet of flowers for my dear friend... Hate this kind of feeling... its just too sudden...
:(
Still can picture the days when we study for O levels at Red Hill Mcdonalds... and in JC... used to tease him with this girl... I still want to tease him! He did so well for his A's! What the heck, he got a bright future! He is intellectual and easy going. Perhaps thats why God chose him to serve him early. But i still hope God don't choose him so soon...
:(
To Ivan my dear friend... I'll remember you always...